17 October 2011

Digging Myself Out

I'm stuck in a rut.

I think I've been in one for quite a while now.

source- kitty cats, always cute

A rut
1. a track worn by a wheel or by habitual passage; a groove in which something runs
2. a channel or furrow

and of course

3. a usual or fixed practice; a monotonous routine

I'm stuck in a place where I'm letting my job/stress/frustration/worry/imperfection control me. It's a monotonous routine of head versus heart. Believing in the Truth and knowing to put my faith in my Father...but believing the world and putting my faith there instead.

Lately I've let myself become unhappy.

I'm frustrated by [the things I can't control about] my job
I'm overly self-conscious about my body/wardrobe/hair because I don't look like ____ blogger. 
I'm upset by the amount of time my husband and I don't get to spend together and how irregular our life looks right now.
I'm stressed about my lack of balance and my attempts to get things lined up again.

I've dug myself quite a hole, haven't I?

How did I get so selfish? 

How did I let my eyes turn only to myself?

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

So this is where I am, but I'm digging myself out.

Have you been here? How did you go about digging? Where did you begin? 

"As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands." Psalm 119:143


  1. I could have written this! I've been stuck in a rut since february and i can't wait for this year to just end already. Work sucks so bad and is driving me to tears at times so I've decided to quit by December. That's how I'm digging out. I know its not always an option for others but you do what you can. Knowing it won't last forever helps me get through. Feel better!

  2. I spent a whole year in a rut. Press on. And try to see past the uncertainty/ugliness/fear of the now and see what the Lord wants you to learn/do/take from this. It will pass. I promise.

  3. I'm totally feeling you on this one! May our Good Father bless you through this song like He did me~

  4. I'm kind of there right now too. My girls are on a whirl wind and I feel as if it's taken me in. But you're looking in the right direction...someone once told me "embrace those opportunities where God is allowing you the chance to grow" and this seems like that opportunity is knocking. I'm praying for you friend.

  5. Have you been here? YES!
    How did you go about digging? I chose to wallow a bit longer. ugh.
    Where did you begin? In the middle.

    I have PTSD and starting at the beginning is way too overwhelming for me. I find excuses and reasons who it's too hard, etc. Through therapy and support, I realized that jumping in is the only thing that helps me get back on track.

    If I try to look for the beginning, I get overwhelmed at looking for the beginning, I feel I need to start by explaining why, or how...and then I give up. I've realized I can always go back and explain some of the beginning if need be, but if I never start, there will never be any action.

    I compare myself to other bloggers too...as in...they have so many followers or are so creative or "with it" and I am an old lady who is overweight, has a messy house and lacks motivation...yeah...who wants to follow that around?

    But I realized that God wrote my story to give Him glory, not me. And He wants me to share my story to reach out to others who have experienced the various combination of things I have... to show that while I may be/have been:

    Single Parent

    I am loved by an amazing Father who cares for me and loves me no matter what

  6. Yes, I have been there and can quickly find myself falling back into the rut. Thanks for your honesty. Hang in there, friend!

  7. I've been in one since March, I think it's ended now. It's weird to be confused and indifferent at the same time but I was, lol. There was no desire to seek God, but I wanted him to speak to me about things, to show me where to go. There were glimpses of happiness, not really joy. There were days I would be happy for no reason, then back in rut the next day. I wanted out. I also got jealous of people...their weight, their cute clothes, their art, how they are doing stuff with their life and it seems like I'm going nowhere, how they have this, and I don't, how nothing seems to work out for me...I wallowed a lot. It helped sometimes when I did things that I actually enjoyed doing, like creating stuff or writing, but the joy didn't last long. I shared this issue of not being good enough to someone and they said things that really stuck with me at that time. Unfortunately, I don't remember much of it. But they said that whenever we feel that way, our eyes are set on ourselves, not on God. That's why we can't see clearly. We're blinded by jealousy and lust and other things. When we fix our eyes on God, we are inclined to ask him about his plan for us, and not focus on what the other person is doing. Also, his desires become our desires, and they are always good. There is no one youer than you. So you are unique, and God has a specific plan for unique you. Don't worry about the others. You're not the same as them, you may or may not be older but God deals with everyone separately. Same way he loves you with all his heart, yet he loves her with all his heart. How can that be? It makes you wonder how many hearts he has...But that's the kind of God we have, the Almighty one, who knows just what you need when you need it. It's be over soon. Strive to connect with God daily. It's really hard though. I can't lie and say I did it, cos most times I just didn't feel like it. So I didn't do it. Maybe it might get you out of the rut faster. Or maybe God wants to teach you something about yourself during this rut. I don't know. Try to enjoy it, yet seek God. Yeah this is weird stupid advice. I would probably be mad at me too if I sent me this message :)

  8. I'm right there with you...i've been in a rut for a while now, but I think last week hit an all time high. I did not want to spend this week in the same place and your post has reminded me to keep my eyes on heaven above.

  9. I JUST got finished writing a similar post... But nowhere near as eloquent as yours. I feel ya, girl!!!

  10. I'm letting the same thing happen to me, I'm also allowing people to walk all over me because I'm too nice. Hope things are looking up for you. Have a good day. :) Rochelle.

  11. I have definitely been there. Something that struck me when I was at Women of Faith this past weekend was when one of the speakers said, "God has given you a will that is stronger than your emotions." I find that a lot of my "ruts" have to do with how I'm feeling about things. I'm not saying that feelings aren't valid or stemming from a legitimate cause, but they don't tell the whole truth. Sometimes I have to acknowledge how I feel, but then do the opposite of that and exercise my will to do what I know I NEED to do in spite of how I feel. It is HARD.


Thank you for coming along for the ride with me. Your comments make my day!