05 October 2010

When I Can Think of Nothing Else to Say

source
These past few weeks have been hard ones. I am tired all the time. I stay up late, staring at the ceiling, worrying about work, my students, deadlines, things I need to do, things I can't do, things I want to do, and things I need to do but don't know where to start. Then I sleep in not wanting to face the day, exhausted from the worry the night before.
I'm overwhelmed.

overwhelmedpast participle, past tense of o·ver·whelm (Verb)

1. Bury or drown beneath a huge mass.
2. Defeat completely

I'm not quite drowning, but I'm definitely struggling to swim.

Lately my prayers have sounded more like long, heavy sighs as I look at my calendar, my to-do list, my students, my e-mails, my husband, my apartment, my life. 

I've tried to come up with the words to ask God, the ways I'd like Him to help, the things I need. But I've come up short. 

The only thing I can think of to say to Him is "Lord give me strength."

That's it, that's all I can muster. And you know what? I think that's enough. In all of our sleepiness and stress, the Lord doesn't ask us to be poets. He wants us to come to Him as we are. Broken and run-down...and even drowning.

Gosh, I must not be the only one who worries and gets piled under huge masses. There's a whole section of the Matthew that says "Do Not Worry." 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Although I am currently overwhelmed by what the world is throwing at me, I also am a bit overwhelmed (the good kind of overwhelmed) looking at the word "strength" in the concordance. Overwhelmed by God's love and the strength he provides.

Strength (STRONG)
Ex. 15:2        The Lord is my strength and my song
2Sa. 22:33     It is God who arms me with strength
Ne 8:10         For the joy of the Lord is your strength
Ps. 28:7        The Lord is my strength and my shield
Ps. 46:1        God is our refuge and strength
Php. 4:13      through Him who gives me strength
1 Pe. 4:11     with the strength God provides

"The Lord is my strength and shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped."



 

7 comments:

  1. I will definitely be praying for you! I know exactly how you feel! Half of the nights I have myself so worked up that I lay in bed for a couple of hours before I can wind down and go to sleep. Most of the time I contemplate getting up and actually taking care of some of the things on my list, but I'm too tired to do it. Hang in there! Thinking of you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I understand the feelings you describe. Different circumstances, same outcome. 2 thoughts. First, you will get through it. Time is kind that way. Second, the Lord knows what you're going through...and He will never ask us to do something we can't accomplish with His help. You will make it. I know it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Laura,
    We have all been where you are now, not just once in our lives, but many times.
    You are right that God does not care about fancy prayers.
    You have cried out to Him right where you are, and He loves that about you. You have gone to His word in spite of your feelings, and seeming lack of time. Bravo!!!
    God understands everything about you, and already sees the growth that is happening because of this hard time.

    I will be praying for God's peace for you.
    And His direction. Sometimes we have to be on overload before we will slow down enough to hear Him, and receive His direction for tomorrow.

    hugs and blessings

    barbara jean

    ReplyDelete
  4. I thought of this verse right away.

    2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)
    "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

    You'll get through it. You're right about your prayers. He wants to hear them all. You'll pull through and just remember, you'll be stronger when this period is over. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Matthew 6:34 is my favorite verse when I start feeling like you describe. Sounds like you need this upcoming weekend off. Keep praying and keep your chin up!

    ReplyDelete
  6. My dear-I am praying for you...always remember
    that the
    ♥Grace of God won't lead you where the Grace of God can't keep you♥

    Here is a {{♥HUG♥}} just for you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I can certainly relate. Hopefully we will both be "back on top of things" soon. Until then, God Bless!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for coming along for the ride with me. Your comments make my day!