I'm feeling big this week. I know that I will get so much bigger, but I still feel rather large. I had to stop and take a breather twice on our walk this evening. Out of shape momma!
As my belly gets bigger, the reality of all this sets in even more. I sat down and peeked at Target.com [we should probably think about registering, right?]. I looked at two bathtubs and a highchair and just about had a panic attack-- it was too much for me to handle right now. We will need to mentally prepare a bit before they hand us one of those price guns.
I'm trying really hard to not get overwhelmed or overloaded with information. I've stopped Googling things and no longer fall into reading comment after comment detailing women's pregnancies. Each woman and each pregnancy is so different. Each ache and pain is different. Each feeling of joy and stress and anxious waiting is different. I gave worrying about this pregnancy to God. I'm giving him the remaining need to compare as well.
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
And I couldn't be more grateful that he takes those things from me every single time. This little baby and I can't do it on our own. Nor would we want to.
This week marks the beginning of our 5th month together. Can you believe it? What a wonderful few months it's been, just me and you. It's starting to get warm as summer is almost here. You'll keep growing and growing and when you're born, it will be my absolute favorite season-- fall! You will be my little pumpkin.
Guess what? I think I felt you move. The doctor said I won't be able to feel you moving for quite a few weeks, but between you and me, I totally felt you moving in there. It wasn't gas or my tummy turning. It was you kicking your little feet or waving your little hands. It felt like little butterflies flying through.
I'm so excited for when your daddy can put his hands on my belly and feel you moving around. He's going to love it! Lots of times he puts his lips to my belly and whispers you things. He'll ask how your day is and then put his ear to my belly to hear your answer. He's silly like that. Just wait until you meet him! You two will be laughing together all day long!
When we first started dating, your daddy would tell me that he loved me big and little. Well I love you big and little, too. I love you as big as all the oceans and the mountains and the sky with all its stars. I love you as little as fireflies and Jupiter's whiskers and the shiny diamonds in my wedding ring. And I love you everything in between.