03 May 2012


The other day, I was walking by one of our study lounges and saw a young woman on her computer, looking at engagement ring after engagement ring on Google images. Clicking on her favorites.

I remember those days. I must have Googled hundreds of rings, wondering when Kyle would propose. We had always talked about marriage (almost from day one), and I knew an engagement was in our near future, but the waiting was killing me.

I used to stick my hand out and imagine what it would look like with a shiny ring. I wondered how I would say "yes" and made sure to keep my nails clean and manicured in case I needed to show them off.

I remember sitting at our favorite Mexican restaurant, me and one of my best friends from graduate school. I was lamenting how Kyle would probably never propose. Never, ever. Woah is me.

But you read my blog...you know how the story ends. We'll be married 3 years in July.

Fast forward to last August. I got the baby brain. It was like one morning I thought "yea, we'll get pregnant in the next few years/when Kyle graduates/when things quiet down/when we move out of the residence hall that I run," and then woke up the next morning thinking "baby now please."

We started trying back in August. We had spent our marriage up to that point trying hard not to get pregnant. So when we wanted a baby now please, we thought it would be a piece of pie. Humble pie is more like it.

I would look in the mirror and stick out my belly, just pining over a little one to fill that space. Squinting at the pee-pee sticks trying to see that second line. But months went by and no baby, just runs to the grocery store for more tampons.

But you read my blog...you know where we are in this story. 3 years married in July and baby D coming to you in October.

So you know what these two stories have in common?


I was worried sick that Kyle changed his mind. That he would propose too late to book a reception hall or get the perfect dress. I was worried sick that there were complications with my body. That I would never get pregnant.

But you read my blog.

Now this is just my story. For some, that second line never does appear. Or Mr. Perfect takes his good ole' time showing up to the party.

But "can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" [Matthew 6:27]

Why does it seem like our default in life is to worry? Or at least that's my default. I could hear a million and one things that are perfect, and just one tiny problem, and I am in tears with worry. The whole shebang is spoiled. Or rather, I spoiled it with worry.

Worry is sinful. Truly. The bible outlines the direction our lives should take as lovers and followers of Jesus Christ.

One of those things is to not worry.

It's there plain as day, tucked at the end of Matthew 6.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.
 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

There you have it. The cold hard facts.

Worry indicates a distrust in our perfect creator and his perfect plan. It robs you of joy. It puts doubt in your mind. As I read on Twitter from my friend
Murr, "worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles; it takes away today's peace."

I promise you that I am not done worrying. [I have a stress-induced
poo-poo problem that says otherwise.] Like I said earlier, it's my default. 

But I will continue to bring it to the Lord, every day, every minute if I have to. Breathing out my worries in exchange for breathing in his peace.

How do you deal with worry? Do you have prayers that you say to release them to God?


  1. I am SO thankful you posted about this today, friend. We're going through a weird season and all I'm doing is worrying. I just try to push it out of my head and try to get distracted with other things, to be honest. I've muttered some simple prayers but haven't truly dug down into the bottom of my heart and bared it with God. That needs to happen soon. *sigh*

  2. I completely relate. Before and even after, I got married - my fiancé/now husband would constantly give me little notes with Matt 6. He would help me to memorize it, frame it, text it to me, mail me sweet notes all about giving my worry to God. I had some major problems with anxiety, and I still do. I lost my job and nothing is very promising right now, my husband is trying to finish flight school and I just want to move away from where we are because I feel hopeless. I can't tell you how I overcome worry because I haven't. My husband prays with me often, and of course I desperately ask the Lord for peace. Sometimes I have to consciously, several times a day take captive my anxious thoughts and ask for peace. Praying for you and other ladies dealing with this today.

  3. Thanks so much for sharing this, Laura. I have been reading a GREAT book that I recommend to anyone who is struggling with worry. It's called Trusting God by Jerry Bridges. It is an excellent book about learning to trust God through adversity and truly seeing everything that happens to us as being under God's sovereign control. I posted this quote from the book on my facebook yesterday, "I am learning that trusting God is first of all a matter of the will and is not dependent on my feelings. I choose to trust God [by the power of the Holy Spirit], and my feelings eventually follow."

  4. great post laura! reminding me not to lose my peace today in fear of tomorrow! also, just read your poo poo problem post...how's your prego belly doing? if you think it could be gluten, would be happy to help with a GF diet too!

  5. It's so funny how we worry. Especially when things are going good. It's sad though because it take aways from enjoying the moment as much, but I will say it helps me appreciate it when looking back =)

    - Sarah

  6. Love this so much! The past week has been super hard watching 3/4 of my roommates mooning over their boyfriends/fiance. My heart has been heavy. Thanks for the encouragement! :)

  7. I totally needed to hear this. Waiting is rough, but worrying does not help in the least.

  8. I am such a worrier too! This is an excellent reminder of trusting that God has His hand in my life and although I can't see the road clearly, He is seeing it with a clear, directed view. Patience is also an important trait to master as we learn to stop worrying and trust- looking back I see so many places that I acted out of worry. If only I would have trusted, waited ... Everything in His timing! Thanks for sharing!

  9. I was just laughing (in a weird sort of way today) about the fact that I have one kid with severe allergies and another who is finally coming out of a long season of anxiety and worry (laughing that we now buy kleenex in bulk and I replaced 4 boxes this week!). Worry is such a killer. It's something I've been working on, too, trying to remember to "not worry about tomorrow" or as the King James says of that verse, have no thought about tomorrow. I'm trying to live a no-thought life, releasing today's worries and trusting God with the rest, but it's not always easy. Thanks for posting!

  10. Just wait till the baby is born :) You'll have even more to worry about. I agree with you though, worrying on your knees is the best way to do it. One good thing about kids is they take a lot of time which leaves less for worrying. You'll make time for it late at night when all is quite except for your mind, but that's when I've found the best time to pray is. You'll figure it out because you are going about it the right way.

  11. This is lovely, Laura. One of the most powerful things that ever happened to me was when I realized that worry is a sin. Sometimes I wear it like a badge, you know? "I'm Page and I'm just so prone to worry!" But learning that He commands us NOT to worry made me realize how important it is to combat it, not claim it. So amen to everything you just said :)

  12. Thanks for posting this!! Just now reading it :] I blogged about fear a few months back here: http://redemptionisbeautiful.blogspot.com/2012/01/thoughts-of-fear.html and how I have been processing the fear here: http://redemptionisbeautiful.blogspot.com/2012/01/processing-fear.html. What a roller coaster it is to "try" to get pregnant. But like you said, here you are pregnant!! Which is wonderful and in the Lord's time. Thanks for sharing the Word and for the encouragement.

  13. oh i love that you used that quote i posted!! it's so true! worrying takes away our ability to live in the moment & be at peace with ourselves. when we worry, we somehow feel the need to "take control" of things, when really, it's all in His hands. & His plans are always better than ours :)


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