These last few days have been a whirlwind. A flurry of feedings and dirty diapers.
For nine months, I tried to prepare my heart and mind the best I could.
Yet I've found that I was so very unprepared for life with a newborn.
But we're figuring it out, slowly. My new little family.
These last few days have been some of the hardest days of my life. There have been lots of tears -- more from me than from Samuel, I think. I was not prepared for such a rigid feeding schedule. It takes an hour from start to finish to feed Sam, and by the time I get him settled it's time to do it again.
Breastfeeding has been proven to be the hardest part of this experience -- harder than the labor and delivery, harder than the late nights and adjusting to a new schedule. I feel like I've already had ever problem in the book, and every night I tell Kyle that I want to quit.
But the last few days have also been dripping (pun intended) with joy and excitement. Of little celebrations and milestones. Of getting a little bit more comfortable with my tiny, squirming man.
Oh Samuel Noel, I'm still not real sure how to be a mom, but I'm sure that I love you and that my love will grow and grow as you do. So excited for our life together.