22 October 2012

The Last Few Days

These last few days have been a whirlwind. A flurry of feedings and dirty diapers.

For nine months, I tried to prepare my heart and mind the best I could.

Yet I've found that I was so very unprepared for life with a newborn.

But we're figuring it out, slowly. My new little family.

These last few days have been some of the hardest days of my life. There have been lots of tears -- more from me than from Samuel, I think. I was not prepared for such a rigid feeding schedule. It takes an hour from start to finish to feed Sam, and by the time I get him settled it's time to do it again.

Breastfeeding has been proven to be the hardest part of this experience -- harder than the labor and delivery, harder than the late nights and adjusting to a new schedule. I feel like I've already had ever problem in the book, and every night I tell Kyle that I want to quit.

But the last few days have also been dripping (pun intended) with joy and excitement. Of little celebrations and milestones. Of getting a little bit more comfortable with my tiny, squirming man.

Oh Samuel Noel, I'm still not real sure how to be a mom, but I'm sure that I love you and that my love will grow and grow as you do. So excited for our life together.

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  1. Hi I've followed you for quite awhile...first comment. ;) I too wanted to quit breastfeeding. I was so so engorged on day 7 which was day 2 at home. I couldn't feed my daughter because she wouldn't nurse until I'd pump some out and I was just a crying wreck. She is now 8 1/2 months and it has been so worth it. I just wanted to tell you I have been where you are and you are definitely not alone. I have become a huge advocate for breastfeeding and I wanted to tell you while we don't know one another and I'm sure you have a wonderful support system. I can tell you all all my horror stories if you'd like. ;) congrats to you and your husband. Same is one blessed little boy.

  2. Oh, friend, I have been wanting to comment all week. Hang in there. It's so hard. But it totally gets better. And I've so been there. And nursing was the absolute hardest thing I've ever done. Hang in there, momma.


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